18+Bath & body
Linen Wash
$28 · tax calculated at checkout
A dedicated cleanser for matte silicone: no silicone oil, no fragrance, no residue after rinsing.
Silicone-safe · Fragrance-free
Checkout confirms availability and sales tax; payment is a secure link — no card details on this site.
In stock. Dispatched same day if ordered before 1 pm Eastern.
Standard shipping $6 · free over $120 · 3–5 business days. Expedited available.
Plain packaging, neutral sender name, no product description on the label. Unopened returns within 30 days.
Household soap leaves a film that attracts dust and eventually dulls a matte finish; most 'toy cleaners' are built on silicone oil, which is worse. Linen Wash is a low-foam, rinse-clean formula with neither — it is boring on purpose, and it is the only cleanser we put our name on.
The frosted 200 ml bottle has a flip cap rather than a pump, because you use less that way. One bottle lasts roughly six months of daily use.
Why this piece exists
Linen Wash is the product that exists because we tested eleven 'toy cleaners' and would not put our name on any of them. Most are isopropyl alcohol with a fragrance, which dries silicone and dulls a matte finish; the rest are silicone-oil sprays that leave the exact film that attracts dust. Our formula is a coco-glucoside surfactant with citric acid — it foams a little, rinses completely, and does nothing else.
We nearly did not sell it. A cleanser is not a catalogue item; it is a consumable. What changed our minds was the returns data on other products: pieces coming back dull and dust-grey were not ageing, they were being cleaned with the wrong thing. So the bottle exists to keep the other sixteen pieces looking the way they did on day one.
Who it suits
- Owners of matte silicone who have noticed it going grey
- Ceramic and glass owners — it is safe on every surface we sell
- Households replacing alcohol wipes with something that does not crack silicone
Who it does not suit
- Anyone expecting a sanitiser — it cleans, it does not disinfect, and we will not pretend otherwise
- People who want a scented 'fresh' finish; there is no fragrance to be fresh
Specification
Measured, not estimated.
Dimensions are nominal and may vary by up to 3 mm between batches. If a figure matters for a specific use, ask and we will measure the piece in stock.
| Base | Water, coco-glucoside, citric acid, sodium benzoate |
|---|---|
| Volume | 200 ml |
| Fragrance | None |
| Silicone oil | None |
| Safe for | Silicone, ceramic, glass, ABS, aluminium |
| Shelf life | 24 months unopened |
| Surfactant | Coco-glucoside, plant-derived, biodegradable |
| Rinse test | Zero film at 3 rinse cycles in ISO hardness water |
| Cost per clean | ~£0.04 at one pump per use |
In the box
- Linen Wash 200 ml flip-cap bottle
- Use card with the materials compatibility table
Use and care
Everything we know about keeping it.
Use
One pump onto the body, work to a light lather, rinse with warm water, dry with a lint-free cloth. For glazed ceramic, a soft cloth is enough — no abrasive pads.
What not to do
Do not mix with alcohol-based sanitisers or bleach-based sprays; both degrade silicone and dull glazes. A little goes further than you expect.
Storage
Keep the cap closed and the bottle out of the shower spray. It does not need a dark cupboard.
Long-term
The flip cap is the only part that wears: the hinge goes loose after a few hundred openings and the seal stops being confident. At 200 ml and a pump per clean, that is about a year of use, and the bottle is recyclable PETG — decant the last quarter into a jar rather than fighting the cap. Keep it out of the shower spray not for the bottle's sake but so damp hands do not introduce water into your storage drawer.
Material safety. Platinum-cured silicone, phthalate-free, non-porous. Clean with warm water and mild unscented soap or a silicone-safe cleanser; avoid alcohol and silicone-based lubricants, which dull a matte finish and can leave a film. Full detail in the materials guide.
Delivery & discretion
Between here and your door.
Plain as standard
Unbranded carton, plain white label, neutral sender name, customs line reads “wellness goods”. No invoice inside unless you ask.
Timing
Same-day dispatch before 1 pm Eastern; three to five business days standard, two expedited. Hold-at-location delivery on request.
Returns
Unopened within 30 days with a prepaid label and no reason asked. Faulty items are replaced on a photograph, not a posting.
About this piece
